Monk for a Day

I woke up earlier than usual. I was excited because I had scheduled a day room - St. Michael's - at Our Lady of Guadalupe Trappist Abbey near Lafayette, about a 45 minute drive from Canby. The Abbey is one of my favorite places. For a couple of weeks my soul had been telling me I needed rest, some monastic solitude and silence. I pulled into the Dutch Brother's in Newberg before 6am and ordered a latte. I switched on the light in my day room twenty minutes later and turned up the heat. I laid out my Bible, journal, pens, and books on the desk.

I headed for the microwave in the Guest House kitchen to warm up my coffee. Brother Martin was busy making morning coffee for the overnight guests. "Good morning, brother. Are you still over in, what is that, Canby?" "Yes" I told him. "I haven't seen you for a while" he uttered. I replied, "Yea, it's been a long time since I've been here. You've got a good memory." Brother Martin smiled at me and pointed at his head, "Sometimes it works." He went about his business and I went about mine.

I walked outside to look up at the night sky. The morning sun was rising sooner than I expected. The sky was no longer black but a dark blue. A few stars were still shining, twinkling in the cool morning air. I stood still, closed my eyes, and tried to take in the silence. Renewal was already starting.

I opened my journal and started writing. My mind felt like it was in slow gear. Next I began my Bible reading out of Eugene Peterson's The Message Psalm 90-94 and then Luke 19-24. Next I grabbed my ESV Study Bible that I lugged along (it must weigh 25 lbs!) and turned to my sermon passage for Sunday - John 2:1-11, Jesus turning the water into wine. I carefully read the introduction to John's gospel and then the study notes for the passage. One thing led to another. Before long I was jumping all over the Old Testament and the New Testament tracing what the Bible said about the use of wine. Drunkenness is out but "joy" is in - joy is sometimes linked to wine in the Scriptures. I took some careful notes about the 7 signs in John's gospel of which Jesus turning the water into wine is the first.

Next I opened my journal and wrote out my prayers for the day. First, family concerns and then CAC people matters I feel called to pray for. Lately about the only way I can privately pray is by writing out my prayers, a number of journals of them since early this year. I seldom pace up and down in a room and pray out loud like I did for years. It doesn't work anymore so I only occasionally try it.

Next I went outside and walked down the Abbey road to the main highway. I wanted to feel the warm sunshine against my face. I wanted to hear singing birds. As I walked I looked down and saw a black, rust colored furry caterpillar walking across the road in front of me. I put my Nike running shoe in its path to see what it would do. The caterpillar crawled over the toe of my shoe and kept going.

Next I came back to the room and laid down and took a twenty minute nap that felt more like a couple of hours. It was just what I needed.

Next I made a quick diversionary trip to the Abbey bookstore, looked over both old and new titles, and got away without buying anything, somewhat of a miracle.!

Next I grabbed my copy of Godric by Frederick Buechner and my journal and found a quiet corner of the Abbey church to read and pray. I silently prayed through the prayer I wrote earlier that morning. I paused over names and situations that weighed upon my heart. I sought to give those prayers an extra push into heaven. Then I read a couple of chapters in my favorite Buechner novel. This is my third or fourth time to read Godric and each time seems more amazing than the time before.

Next I set off on my favorite hike on the Abbey grounds. By now it was noon. The warm sun was high over head and would push the mercury to 80 degrees. I looked up at a cloudless blue sky. I slowly made my way to the monk's picnic area located in the woods behind the monastery. I walked through the baseball field up into the tall, swaying fir trees that guarded the monk's volleyball and basketball courts, fire pit, and covered eating shelter. Think really simple and really primitive. Grass, dirt, ground cover for the courts. The eating shelter looks like its been there for fifty years, simply made out of leftover wood and materials. I have offered up many prayers here over the years as I've paced back and forth under the majestic fir trees that rise up into the sky to form an outdoor sanctuary for meeting God. I found a sunny spot, looked up into the sun, and closed my eyes - flies buzzing, birds singing, the faint sound of a distant combine.

I took a different trail back to the monastery, one that led me down a windy path next to a dried up creek bed. I heard branches snapping. I stopped and looked around. There across the path from me and standing about twenty feet up the hill was a deer, a doe, eating leaves off a bush of some kind. I expected her to bolt but she didn't. I talked to her. She looked straight at me. We stared each other down. And then she put her head down and continued to eat. She must have surmised that I wasn't a threat to her safety or lunch.

Next I went back to my room and grabbed my journal, Godric, and a new book, Regi Campbell's Mentor Like Jesus. I found a shady spot next to the big pond behind the Guest House. I opened

up Campbell and began to read. Every so often I heard water splashing so I looked down at the water's edge and spotted a large bullfrog. He was sitting in the water with the top of his head above the surface next to a tree stump. Dragon flies were flying around the stump. Occasionally one would light upon the stump or swoop down and touch the water. The bullfrog crouched still and when the time was right he lunged at the dragon fly and snapped it up. Once I happened to glance down at the right time and saw the bullfrog leap out of the water, catch a dragon fly in its mouth, and land at least twelve inches from where he started. Another time the bullfrog leaped completely over one branch of the tree stump. This was the first time I had ever been entertained by a bullfrog and dragon flies. The show was fascinating to watch and got in the way of my reading.

Next I went back up to my room, packed up, and headed out the door for home. The day was just what I needed. The weather could not have been nicer. The entertainment (caterpillar, deer, bullfrog, and dragon files) was awesome. And I caught up with my soul in a much-needed manner over the course of the 7 1/2 hours I spent at the Abbey. Thanks be to God!

Europe

Heather and I are going to Europe in November thanks to the travel voucher the church gave us this summer in recognition of my 25th anniversary at Canby Alliance Church. We are set to leave on November 4th to visit Prague and Paris.

Our first stop is going to be Prague in the Czech Republic. We were first attracted to Prague because of its reasonable prices (Europe can be very expensive). Over the past two months we have discovered that a number of people we know have visited Prague and highly recommend it. Prague escaped heavy bombing during World War II. Therefore its city center has the charming feel of an old world city. We are going to stay in a family-run hotel just a couple of blocks from the Old Town Square. Our plan is to put our feet to work and walk to as many places as we can on Prague's cobblestone streets. Most of the tourist sights can be found in a two square mile area.

After six days in Prague we are going to fly to Paris for four days. We will be staying in a fairly small hotel in the St. Germain des Pres section of the Latin Quarter. I stayed here four years ago on the way back from Africa. The hotel is located close to a number of famous cafes including one Ernest Hemingway frequented and helped put on the map in the 1920s. The oldest church in Paris, L'Lglise Saint-Germain des Pres, first completed in 558 and enlarged in 1163, is just around the corner. What I remember most about this area are the open markets, bakeries, cafes, and restaurants within just a block or two of the hotel.

We have limited ourselves to only visit two cities. The main reason for the trip is time together and time to rest. While we plan to do some sight-seeing we are going to carve out large chunks of time for reading, relaxation, and simply being together enjoying a nice meal, a good cup of European coffee, or a long walk exploring part of Prague or Paris.

We are overwhelmed with gratitude for the church's generosity and love. And we can hardly wait for November 4th to roll around!

Mt. Borah

On Tuesday, September 7th at 12:15pm we stepped foot on the summit of Mt. Borah, the tallest mountain in Idaho and Oregon with an elevation of 12,668 ft. The ascent took us 6 hours. I climbed the mountain with my nephew Josh (Menlo Park, CA.), my cousin Rick (Post Falls, ID.), my brother Brent (Emmett, ID.), and Brian a good friend from our church in Canby. We climbed the standard route which involves ascending 5,262 vertical feet from the trail head to the summit in just over 3.5 miles.

We arrived at the trail head Monday afternoon and set up our camp. The trail head sits at an elevation of 7200 ft . For comparison-sake, Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood sits at an elevation of 5960 ft. while Silcox Hut is located at 6950 ft. We watched a few climbers return from the mountain after a long day of climbing. All of them looked tired, sore, and thirsty. I remember one individual who looked to be in his late 50s or early 60s. He looked spent. The back of his pants were ripped where he must have fallen or snagged his pants on something. He repeated a couple of times, "Don't underestimate the final 800 ft. to the summit."

We ate dinner, built a fire, stood around the fire and talked, and then went to bed by 9pm. The mountain night was cold. The temperature slipped down below freezing. It took me a few hours to fall asleep. I tossed and turned in my sleeping bag. I could not shut off my mind. I was excited about the climb. I nursed a few fears as well (I don't do cold very well and I am afraid of heights!).

Finally I drifted off to sleep and was awakened by Rick's voice telling us it was 5:10am and time to get going. We had planned to wake up at 4am but Brian's phone was still on Pacific Standard Time so we got a late start - get dressed, bathroom, hot coffee, peanut butter bagel, get out gloves, hat, trekking poles, and make one last rifling through my backpack to make sure I had everything. We hit the trail at 6:15am, our headlamps lighting the trail before us.

Starting to climb felt good. It took off the cold except for my fingertips which started to numb up. Brian loaned me a pair of leather gloves that I put on over my gloves and within minutes my fingertips warmed up.

Brian led the way up the trail and Josh took up the rear. Brent, Rick & I traded off the middle spots as we climbed. Periodically we stopped to drink water, eat a snack, use the bathroom, adjust our packs or take off a layer or two of clothing.

Eventually we came to the base of Chicken Out Ridge, aptly named, at 11,300 ft. The trail ended at its base. We stashed away our trekking poles and began scrambling up its rock face. The climb turned steeper than what we'd experienced so far. The rock was excellent for climbing - hard, solid, full of foot and finger grips. The view was awesome and the wind ripped at our coats. This part of the climb was not for the timid. One slip and there was nothing to catch you for a couple thousand feet. My fear of heights was tested with almost every step I took. Even though I tried to enjoy the amazing view all around me I concentrated on keeping my head zeroed in on the next 5-10 feet I had to climb.

Instead of going up and directly over COR Brian led us on a path that veered off to the left side of the top. The fall-off on our left side was steep and several thousand feet down. We came to a 15-20 ft. snow field we had to cross. Thankfully the trail across it provided us with fairly good footing - dirt and gravel thrown over ice. There were several holes in the wall of snow and ice at eye level that you could use as finger grips to help navigate your way across the snow. I leaned into the snow and gingerly made my way across. I tried hard not to think about what would happen if I slipped and fell. I felt a huge sense of relief when all 5 of us were standing on the other side of the snow field.

Now we enjoyed a good but narrow trail (again a fairly steep drop off to our left) that took us across mostly level terrain until we reached Knife Edge just below the summit. The snow on the ledge was almost gone which meant we could walk across Knife Edge on dry ground. The summit was all that was left - 800 ft above us. The trail was windy and very steep. We decided to make our own way up to the summit instead of following the trail - a climber who was coming down from the summit just as we were going up told us the trail had some loose rock toward the top. First Brian, then Rick, then me, followed by Brent and Josh close behind us.

It must have taken us 30-45 minutes to climb that last 800 ft. Finally I looked up and saw the American flag flapping in the wind on the summit. Brian and Rick stopped short of the summit and let me be the first one to step foot on the top since the climb had been my idea. Before long all 5 of us were on the summit congratulating one another, slapping each other's backs, and posing for pictures. 2 climbers followed us up the summit so they took our pictures on top and we took theirs.

I can't adequately explain what I felt inside - joy, thanksgiving, relief, and a sense of accomplishment. To bask in the beauty of a 360 degree view of the Idaho wilderness was something I will never forget. We were literally on top of Idaho and Oregon. I felt a special bond to Brent, Rick, Josh, and Brian that could only come from climbing together.

The descent off the summit went well. Climbing down is always more dangerous than climbing up. You have the pull of gravity to do battle with in a manner that you don't on your ascent. Plus you are tired and weary from all the energy - physical, emotional, and mental - exerted on the climb up. Plus your knees, ankles, and feet take more of a pounding coming down.

I began to dehydrate on our descent. Brian was alert enough to pick up on how I looked and the fact that I wasn't stopping to pee like everyone else! He gave me some electrolyte powder for the last remaining bit of my water. I drank it and felt better almost immediately. Before we made it back to the trial head Brian gave me his last bottle of water as well as the last of the water he had left in his bladder. I don't know what I would have done without his help!

The climb up and down took us a little more than 12 hours. Dinner was buffalo back strap that Brent had marinated and then

barbecued for us. It was delicious, melted in our mouths, and was the perfect post-climb celebratory meal! All of us went to bed soon after dark and slept like logs - 10 1/2 hours for me which is really rare. We were exhausted, happy, thankful, relieved, and praising God for a safe climb!

Camping and Climbing

I can hardly wait. Tomorrow I jump on a Southwest Airlines flight and fly to Boise. My parents will pick me up at the airport. I will spend a day with them in Boise on Thursday. Friday morning my dad and I will load up his truck and we'll head to our favorite camping spot on the Crooked River about 80 miles northeast of Boise. We literally camp at the end of the road. No amenities. No fellow campers. No nothing except us, the Crooked River, the friendly deer who wander through our camp spot, and our good friend the camp fire. My two brothers (Ted and Brent) will join us before the sun goes down. We talk, laugh, tell stories, look at the stars, eat lots of good food, go hiking or ride the 4 wheelers, take a trip up to the Jackson Peak Lookout, sleep like a log, stare into the campfire, and enjoy a few days away from cell phones, email, texting, traffic, and civilization in general. What makes this special is my dad is 89 years old (young) and this is the highlight of his year! We are going to keep doing this for as long as we can.

We will drive out Sunday afternoon. Once home we'll shower, unpack, and then Brent and I will repack. Monday morning we leave for Mt. Borah in the Lost River Range, a 4 1/2 hour drive from Boise. Five of us will attempt to summit the mountain on Tuesday morning - me, Brent, my cousin Rick from Post Falls, Idaho, my nephew Josh from the Bay area, and my friend Brian Keil from Canby. We plan to hit the trail at 4am and hope to summit between 10am-11am.

Mt. Borah stands at 12, 662 feet. We are looking at a 5262 feet vertical climb in just over 3.5 miles. The exciting section of the climb will be Chicken Out Ridge, aptly named, at 11,000 feet, a class 3 scramble up and over a rock ridge that falls steeply off on each side. For someone who is not fond of heights, like me, Chicken Out Ridge is going to be a challenge.

I promise a report and pictures when I return!

J.C. Ryle

The last several years I have spent a lot of time thinking about growth and change. It seems to me that if what we believe is true about Jesus Christ living inside our lives by the person of his Spirit, there should follow signs or indications of his presence. After all, how could the God of the universe take up residence in my life and something not give or change?!

And yet. What do I see and experience? Am I being stretched by growth pains? Am I really all that different today from who I was two or ten or fifteen or twenty years ago? Has "Christ in you" (me) (Colossians 1:27) radically altered who I am, how I think, what I say, where I go, how I spend my time and money, or what I live for? And yet.

Transformation of our lives is to be the norm for Christ-followers - "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son" (Romans 8:29); "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (2 Corinthians 3:18); and "My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you" (Galatians 4:19). Conformed, transformed, formed all point to the same spiritual reality - there is to be less of Tim and more of Christ in my life as time goes on.

The painstakingly slow process of spiritual growth can be discouraging. Recently I was reminded of a theological truth that provided encouragement. I was reading J.C. Ryle's classic book on Holiness written in 1877. In a section of how justification and sanctification differ Ryle writes, "Justification is a finished and complete work, and a man is perfectly justified the moment he believes. Sanctification is an imperfect work, comparatively, and will never be perfected until we reach heaven. Justification admits of no growth or increase: a man is as much justified the hour he first comes to Christ by faith as he will be to all eternity. Sanctification is eminently a progressive work, and admits of continual growth and enlargement so long as a man lives." Ryle wants us to realize that justification is instant but sanctification is gradual.

Ryle again, "Let us not expect too much from our own hearts here below. At our best we shall find in ourselves daily cause for humiliation, and discover that we are needy debtors to mercy and grace every hour. The more light we have, the more we shall see our own imperfection. Sinners we were when we began, sinner we shall find ourselves as we go on; renewed, pardoned, justified - yet sinners to the very last. Our absolute perfection is yet to come, and the expectation of it is on reason why we should long for heaven."

Don't mistake Ryle as someone who is soft on sin. He takes sanctification just as seriously as he takes justification. He works hard not to confuse the two. And all through Holiness he persistently fixes our attention upon Jesus, "The Lord Jesus has undertaken everything that His people's souls require; not only to deliver them from the guilt of their sins by His atoning death, but from the dominion of their sins, by placing in their hearts the Holy Spirit; not only to justify them , but also to sanctify them."

I am thankful for these good words from J.C. Ryle!

25 Years - early memories

Being asked by a Board member during my interview what I thought about "picture shows" (movies)? The implication being I shouldn't think anything but bad about them and not encourage people from the church to attend movies.

Telling Heather that even though I had accepted the church's offer to become their Senior Pastor I had no idea what they were going to pay me. Salary never came up in any of our discussions and I didn't think it was right for me to bring it up.

Feeling really young since just about every adult in the church was older than me and wondering how I was going to lead and pastor people who had me beat in years, experience, and wisdom.

Being told in the first few weeks by two elders that even though they thought highly of me they did not vote for my coming because they thought I was too young and couldn't do the job.

Driving up to Willamette Falls Hospital on my first day on the job to visit an elderly man from the church, walking into his room, and being told by his wife who was standing over him that he had died just a few minutes earlier. I did my first funeral before I preached my first sermon.

Sitting at my desk in my office trying to figure out how to schedule my time, set my priorities, work by a list of goals, and find out from God what I was supposed to preach on as I got started.

Choosing the book, Well-Intentioned Dragons, to read with my elders in hopes of setting the expectations by which we would serve together (Amazon.com gives this description of the book -

"Every church has them - sincere, well-meaning Christians who leave ulcers, strained relationships, and hard feelings in their wake. They don't intend to be difficult; they don't consciously plot destruction or breed discontent among the members. But they often do undermine the ministry of the church and make pastors question their calling. Based on real-life stories of battle-scarred veterans, Marshall Shelley presents a clear picture of God's love for those on both sides of the problem. He describes tested strategies to communicate that love and turn dissidents into disciples."

Setting a first-year goal of visiting every family in their home for the purpose of interviewing them regarding their feelings about the church and assuring them of my love and hope for the future.

Encountering more hurt and wounded people than I expected to find, quickly realizing my limitations, and learning to pray out of desperation, fear, and longing.

Jonathan Edwards

Jonathan Edwards (October 5, 1703 - March 22, 1758) has been called America's greatest theologian and most influential thinker. During his life time he worked as a parish pastor, missionary, and college teacher. He published many books and works which have never gone out of print and are widely read today.

One of my goals this summer is to both read about Jonathan Edwards and read him. A couple of months ago I read Jonathan Edwards And The Ministry Of The Word: A Model of Faith and Thought by Douglas A. Sweeney who has published a number of works on Edwards and knows his subject well.

This morning I started reading Jonathan Edwards on Beauty edited by Owen Strachan and Douglas Sweeney from The Essential Edwards Collection published by Moody Publishers. The book has five chapters on the beauty of God, Creation, Christ, the Church, and the Trinitarian Afterlife.

Edwards identified seven attributes that demonstrate God's beauty - eternality and self-existence, greatness, loveliness, power, wisdom, holiness, and goodness.

I was struck by something Edwards wrote about God's goodness, "God delights in the welfare and prosperity of his creatures; he delights in the making of them exceeding happy and blessed, if they will but accept of the happiness which he offers." Edwards asserted of God's goodness, "this is goodness that never was, never will, never can be paralleled by any other beings." When kings give good things to their subjects, "they do but give that which the Almighty before gave to them."

According to Edwards God's greatest gift of goodness is seen in the giving and self-sacrifice of his Son for the sin of the world. "There never was such an instance of goodness, mercy, pity, and compassion since the world began; all the mercy and goodness amongst creatures fall infinitely short of this."

It is plain to see that I am going to feast on Edwards over the next several days. He is God-centered in a manner in which few of us are today.