Thursday, September 22, 2011

Words That Speak

1. We will turn this responsibility over to them and will give ourselves to prayer and the ministry of the word – Acts 6:3-4

2. Lately I’ve viewed it as a personal goal to help enhance the leadership of those around me. If I can help other people be better leaders, I’ll feel like a blessed man – John Stumbo 6/23/11

3. I believe that God has a purpose for my life on the other side of this illness. I believe that God wants to use me to bless others. I believe that there is a ‘divine providence” at work in my life and in this illness that God will eventually reveal to me – 7/29/11 Boise, Idaho

4. John Stott’s answer to “How I would like to be remembered?” As an ordinary Christian who has struggled in his desire to expound, to understand, to relate, to apply the Word of God

5. This life, therefore, is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness, not health, but healing, not being, but becoming, not rest, but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it. The process is not yet finished, but it is going on. This is not the end, but it is the road. All does not yet gleam in glory, but all is being purified – Martin Luther, 1521

6. Hyper-focus on Jesus each week, pastor, and your service will have the most fascinating subject in existence. Jesus can’t be boring – Jared Wilson tweet

7. Every local church is the people of God, the body of Christ, built upon the foundation of Christ (I Cor. 3:11,16; 12:27), because in that location it is the same as what the church is in its entirety, and Christ is for the local church what he is for the universal church. in the various local gatherings of believers, it is the one church of Christ that comes to expression – Herman Bavinck

8. Go deeper in my relationship with Jesus, then teach, pastor, lead & pray out of that – live, serve, lead, influence out of a deeper well

9. Keep your eyes on Jesus – Kelvin Gardiner = live prayerfully before Jesus, seek his direction, listen for his voice, do what he says, go where he says to go

Friday, May 13, 2011

Reading

I love to read. Right now I have seven different books going, five of which are shown in the picture to the right. I'll be the first to admit, seven is too many at one time. My normal is more like two or three - one to two books going at home and one to two more at work. I read according to mood and time - the time of the day or night and the mood I'm in.

Here's a short description of what I am reading right now. Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life by Richard Rohr. I can't remember where I first got wind of Rohr's latest book but the title immediately grabbed my attention. So far, twenty-four pages into it, I have not been disappointed. Rohr writes about how our failings as we grow older can be the foundation for our ongoing spiritual growth.

Contemplating the Trinity: The Path To The Abundant Christian Life by Raniero Cantalamessa. This book is my latest find at the Mt. Angel Abbey bookstore. Cantalamessa was appointed as preacher to the papal household by Pope John Paul II and still serves in this role under Pope Benedict XVI. The book contains a series of meditations given to the papal household in 2001 and 2002. Comparing the Trinity to the ocean Cantalamessa writes, "We cannot wrap our arms around the ocean, but we can enter into it." These meditations invite us to turn to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as a means to overcome hateful divisions, unhappiness, false beauty, and hypocrisy, and as a means to enter more deeply into prayer, communion, and our quest for eternity.

Every Riven Thing: Poems by Christian Wiman. Wiman is the editor of the journal Poetry and the author of two previous collections of poems, The Long Home and Hard Night. I came upon Wiman in a recent issue of The Christian Century where I discovered that he was raised in the church, drifted away as an adult, and recently returned to the faith of his childhood due to a bout with cancer. These poems came out of his encounter with cancer and re-awaking of his faith. This morning I read aloud the first two poems in this collection, Dust Devil and After the Diagnosis.

House of Prayer No. 2: A Writer's Journey Home by Mark Richard is the winner of the PEN/Hemingway award. From the books flyleaf, "In this otherworldly memoir of extraordinary power, Mark Richard, an award-winning author, tells his story of growing up in the American south with a heady Gothic mix of racial tension and religious fervor." The following quote led me to buy Richard's book, "...a place where only God knows how close you came to what could have been, and only His grace saved you from it. It's the lesson of Shedrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the oven of the insane King Nebuchadnezzar; sometimes God saves us through fire, sometimes He saves us from the fire, and sometimes He saves us not at all."

Stuck: Navigating The Transitions of Life and Leadership by Terry Walling. I started this book last summer, set it down, but recently picked it up again with a re-newed interest in its contents. I feel like I am in a transition time in my life, family, and ministry. So far I am finding Wallling's insights helpful for my journey.

The two books not pictured above are Onward: How Starbucks Fought For Its Life Without Losing Its Soul by Howard Schultz and The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene. The Starbucks book is fascinating reading from Schultz on why he returned to Starbucks as their CEO three years ago and what he did to help turn the company around when it was beginning to spiral downward from its glory years. Greene's book is one of his best novels about the whiskey priest, a story of God's grace and how it sometimes works through extremely flawed humanity.

One month from now I hope to have all seven books read. Each addresses an interest, need, like, or curiosity in my life at the moment. I am thankful for eyes to read with, a mind to think with, and good writers who stretch, challenge, and entertain me.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Russia

Hammer and sickle, the symbols of the (former) communist party in Russia. Heather and I walked over the bridge carrying this symbol to visit the Cathedral of Christ the Savior in Moscow. The original church was destroyed on Stalin's orders in 1931 to become the site for a monument to socialism known as the Palace of the Soviets. Lack of funds, flooding from the nearby Moskva River, and the outbreak of World War II got in the way of its construction. The Russian Orthodox Church received permission in the 1990s to rebuild the cathedral. It seemed that everywhere we went in Moscow we encountered vestiges of communism such as this symbol on a bridge and Russian Orthodox churches dotting the skyline of the city. Atheism and faith stand side by side in what is now one of the most expensive cities in the world in which to live.

The Russian people seem indifferent to human conversation or interaction with strangers. Perhaps this is a carryover from years of mistrust of one's neighbor due to communism and the danger of letting one's true thoughts be known. I vividly recall riding the metro (subway) one evening packed with rush hour commuters standing and sitting shoulder to shoulder. No one talked, not just on this ride but on every experience we had riding the metro. I've ridden the metro in Paris, not known for its friendly people, but never observed anything like I did in Moscow. We were told, though, that once you make a Russian friend, everything changes. They are open, transparent, and faithful in ways friends are not here in the West.

It was an honor to speak to a group of international workers with the Alliance. They came from five different cities scattered across Russia and Ukraine. Living so far from home they were family to one another and enjoyed each other's presence. Some carried a long history together. The culture, language, weather, expense, and unresponsiveness of the Russian people are trying. Discouragement comes easy. Barriers to faith require commitment, perseverance, and a reliance upon a strong sense of God's calling. I felt humbled to speak to them, often feeling like they had more to teach me about loving and serving Christ than I had to teach them.

Now that I am home the most and best I can do for them is pray for them - marriages that need renewal, children who need healing, backs that need strengthening, headaches that need to go away, problems that need wisdom, and situations that need new vision. People who just a month ago were only names and faces on a website today are people who I carry in my heart in prayer for God's grace to strengthen them in Christ Jesus.


Monday, March 14, 2011

Things Local


Eugene Peterson has been one of my heroes for almost as long as I have been a pastor. I have twenty-four of his books sitting on my bookshelf. Peterson first started and then pastored Christ the King Presbyterian Church in Bel Air, Maryland for twenty-nine years. After he resigned he went on to teach at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and Regent College. He is now retired and lives on Flathead Lake in Montana in the family home that he helped his dad build in 1948.

I just finished reading Peterson's latest book, The Pastor: A Memoir. I love his writing for the following reasons: 1) he truly is a writer who takes language seriously and knows how to use words; 2) he is biblically and theologically rooted and almost never leaves you without a biblical story or text to ponder in anything he writes; 3) he is culturally astute and perceptive and is not afraid to point out where and how he believes the church has wandered from its moorings; and 4) he is well-read across numerous disciplines such as poetry, fiction, philosophy, language, theology, and biblical studies which means I always learn about a new author or book to read when I read Peterson.

Two lines from his memoir grabbed me when I read them over the weekend: "The life of faith cannot be lived in general or by abstractions. All the great realities that we can't touch or see take form on ground that we can touch and see." Earlier he defined that unseen and untouched realities as "God and souls - immense mysteries that no one has ever seen at any time."

Throughout his life and especially in The Pastor Peterson emphasizes and writes about "things local." The space and time in which God's salvation story is written into our stories. Thisness and hereness. Peterson defines the pastor as "the person placed in the community to pay attention and call attention to what is going on right now between men and women, with one another and with God - this kingdom of God that is primarily local, relentlessly personal, and prayerfully without ceasing."

To be honest, I feel like I see dimly. Like I have missed out on so much as a pastor - as well as a human being - by being so caught up in trying to make things happen that I miss what is already happening right in front of my nose, orchestrated by God himself. Peterson sounds a call to all of us to slow down and be present to the present moment for that is the moment in which God is at work if he is, in fact, at work in any of our moments. Thisness and hereness.

What does this mean for me as a husband, a father, a friend, and a pastor? For me as I pray, journal, study Scripture, write my sermon, or lead an Elder meeting as well as shop for groceries, talk to my neighbor, run four miles, calculate college expenses for one of my daughters, or sit around a campfire with my friends?

Peterson always stops me in my tracks. Causes me to think and evaluate. And long for something better and more glorious than what I often settle for.




Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Study Break

(I wrote this two days ago while I was away on a study break.)

Study Break

I am on a study break for 2 ½ days in a mountain cabin in southwest Washington beside Speelyai Creek which rolls by outside cold and clear. My goal is to lay out 17 sermons from the Wisdom Books of the Old Testament (Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Songs). By ‘lay out’ I mean I want to leave on Wednesday noon with a Title, Textual Reference, Theme, and thumbnail sketch of each message.

I brought my box of tools – 2 Bibles, 1 systematic theology, 1 book of sermons on the Old Testament, 1 Old Testament survey, 2 overviews of the books of the Bible, 1 book on Job, 5 books on the Psalms, 3 books on Proverbs, 2 books on Ecclesiastes, and 1 book on the Song of Songs. In addition I packed 5 more books – a commentary on 2 Timothy (for the messages I preach in Russia in 2 months), Karl Barth’s Church Dogmatics IV.1 (personal reading project), Spiritual Wholeness for Clergy(required reading for the Academy of Spiritual Formation & Direction I attend in February at Mt. Angel), Whole Life Transformation (I am reading this because I’m intrigued by the sub-title, ‘becoming the change your church needs’), and Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird (something ‘fun’ to read).

My alarm rings at 5:30a.m. First I build a fire and second I make my coffee in the espresso maker I brought from home. I read/pray the daily Psalms. I slowly read 1 chapter out of 2 Timothy and then read what the commentary has to say about it. I write down a few thoughts in my journal. I turn out all the lights and sit in silence in front of the fire for 10-15 minutes, trying to be quiet, to be calm, and to sink down into my soul. Afterward I pray as I walk back and forth in front of the woodstove pouring out my heart to God in praise, confession, thanksgiving, petition for myself, and intercession for others starting with Heather, Hannah, and Elizabeth. By now it is light outside and I am ready for a little breakfast, juice and a toasted 8 grain bagel.

I make a second cup of coffee, Starbucks Via Ready Brew Caramel flavored instant coffee. I am disappointed with the caramel flavor but it is better than nothing. Before I sit down to study I put more wood on the fire and bring in more logs from the wood stack in the carport.

I light a candle, put on Bach on my iPod player, and sit down at the dining table surrounded by my mini library. I read my Bible, read my books, think, scribble down thoughts, and lay out a 5 month Sunday schedule on a lined, yellow legal pad. I prayed about this time before I left home and asked others to pray for me as well, for inspiration and direction. It’s time for answered prayer. What’s it going to be?

Slowly my sermonizing juices begin to flow. I break down whole books into digestible sermon parts. I fish mind and heart for message titles. I latch onto themes from my reading and scribbles. I ‘see’ sermon parts come together as a whole. I write down the final version on my yellow legal pad and move on.

At 11:30am I drive into Cougar and eat lunch in the only greasy spoons restaurant open. I’ve had better and I’ve had worse. I feel out of place among all of the locals who seem to know each other. Today at lunch 2 old-timers drank coffee at the table next to mine. In a conversation with the waitress one of them realized that he knew her father in the area when she was just a little girl. Her parting comment as she rushed into the kitchen, their order in hand, with a big smile on her face, “It’s a small world, isn’t it?”

I put more logs on the fire when I come back and take a 30 minute nap but not before I read another chapter from To Kill A Mockingbird. Atticus shines in court as he pulls out all his stops to defend Tom Robinson against false charges of raping a white girl. I want to finish the book before I leave.

Early afternoon is more of what I did in the morning but my mind is not as sharp and results come slower and harder. By 2:30-3:00pm I reach my limit for work. Sermonizing is done for the day. I spend the rest of the afternoon reading and working on other projects.

At 4p.m. I go on a 4 mile walk that takes me a little under an hour to do. I pass a herd of elk feeding in an open field about 75 yards away. They scamper off into the brush and trees to avoid me. Once I get out on the highway I notice empty beer cans and cases strewn up and down the side of the road. There is money to be had if someone takes the time to scourer the shoulder in search of empties. I wonder to myself what is it that makes people toss their trash out of their cars and trucks alongside a beautiful windy highway in such stunning mountain country.

When I come back I build another fire, take a shower, and eat my dinner of Chicken Corn Chowder, Tim’s Potato Chips, and a Pink Lady apple. I wash dishes, clean the kitchen, and bring in more logs for the fire. It’s going to be a cold night.

I sit in the recliner in front of the fire and read Whole Life Transformation. I feel like I’ve already read this book at least 8-10 times. It reminds me of others I’ve read. They all sound the same. Pastor so and so comes to a crisis in his life and ministry. In a moment of desperation God meets him and he discovers a way out of his crisis and feels liberated and enlightened. He wonders how he could have lived in such darkness for so long. Suddenly everything at his church and in his ministry looks different. He begins to make changes, big changes. He goes about un-doing everything he worked so hard at building for the new philosophy and perspective he now wants to implement. In the process he either quits or gets fired. He starts a new ministry, writes a book about it, hits the conference trail, and tells the rest of us how we can discover what he has found. So far I haven’t read anything in Whole Life Transformation that I haven’t read somewhere else 2 or 3 times over. I ask myself why I am such a succor for books like these and wish I had saved my $17.95.

I grab the 3 by 5 card from my journal on which I wrote my most pressing prayer concerns for my life, family, and ministry. I sit next to the fire and quietly pray my way through each item. I pause and linger over some that seem to hold more gravity than the others, at least tonight. There are times when I feel like I have the whole world on my shoulders and all I can do is pray. The answers or solutions are beyond me but not God. I can’t heal cancer or reconcile broken marriages or make people want to want God or straighten out situations that have splintered or soften hardened hearts or bring deep, lasting comfort to those who grieve the loss of someone they loved or put my hands on enough money to pay for my children to attend college. Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.

I turn out the lights and climb the stairs to go to go to bed. I read 2 more chapters of Mockingbird and fall asleep with the deep, abiding sense that it has been a good day and I am thankful to God to be alive and to live the life I live with the people and church I love in one of the most beautiful places I know on the face of the earth.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Solitude and Silence


Two weeks ago Ruth Haley Barton (no relation) spoke to our district pastors at Cannon Beach on solitude and silence. She talked about our (speaking to pastors) addiction to noise, words, people, and performance-oriented activity and our need for solitude and silence in order to give God our undivided attention. A number of her statements grabbed my attention, especially this one - "Truly the best thing any of us bring to leadership is the transformation of our own soul." God's work in others, she repeated, begins first in us.

Ruth Haley Barton helped me to see more clearly what God taught me in Prague and Paris last November - I am too busy, my life is too full, and I have neglected to spend quality time paying attention to the stirrings of my own soul. Numerous times Barton mentioned how the invasion of technology - in the form of email, the Internet, cell phones, and texting - adds to the challenge of slowing down long enough to hear the voice of God. Technology makes my life more complicated not simpler.

In solitude we pull away from absorption in human relationships in order to give God our undivided attention. Silence, according to Barton, deepens the experience of solitude, "In silence we not only withdraw from the demands of life in the company of others but also allow the noise of our own thoughts, strivings and compulsions to settle down so we can hear a truer and more reliable Voice." Solitude removes us from people and silence removes us from noise. Together they create space and time for intimacy with God and for the necessary work of transformation that only he can do.

In her book, Invitation To Solitude And Silence, Barton establishes the importance of a sacred space, that is, space set apart for God and God alone. First, physical space. This is a physical spot that is designated for time alone with God - a corner of the living room or a favorite chair in the family or bedroom or a special place outdoors. Second, sacred space is also a place in time set apart to give God our undivided attention. This is a time for resting in God, enjoying his company and allowing intimacy to deepen without any utilitarian purpose.

Since returning from the coast I have attempted to observe a consistent time of solitude and silence. Early morning works best for me. My daily rhythm is to come to my office around 6am. I read Scripture, pray, journal, and read. Into this long established practice I inserted 10 minutes of solitude and silence. I sit in a comfortable chair in my office, turn out the lights, and try to turn off all outer and inner distractions. I chose a simple prayer based upon Psalm 62 - "rest in God" - to help me focus my heart and attention. I dwell on the words as a way of seeking to draw closer to God. I try to calm down and shut off all my inner voices. I attempt to train the ears of my heart to listen for God's still, small voice. And I make it my aim to sink into God who surrounds me on every side, without and within.

Learning to sit still for 10 minutes in God's presence is difficult. I want to get up and do something to legitimize my existence. My mind races with the day's "to do" list. I feel like taking a nap. I want a drink of my coffee. I just thought of a "killer" idea for a sermon. I remember a phone call I forgot to make yesterday. And on it goes. But I stay at it, "rest in God, rest in God, rest in God." My goal, no matter what, is to stay faithful to the practice.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

8 Reflections about Prague and Paris

I like to travel in part because of what it reminds me about God. I have been blessed to travel a bit in my life. I lived in the Philippines for almost one year during college and briefly stopped in Tokyo on the way over and have spent a few days in Hong Kong on three occasions. Ten years ago Heather and I spent five days in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico with a group of pastors and spouses from our district. For our twenty-fifth anniversary in 2003 Heather and I took Hannah and Elizabeth and traveled to Europe for three weeks – France, Holland, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, and back to France. The next year I took a high school senior from our church and went back to the Philippines to speak at a pastor’s conference in Cebu City where I lived during college. In 2006 I was privileged to go to Africa – Guinea and Sierra Leone – with a close friend on behalf of our church to visit people and ministries we support. Earlier this year I led a team of people from our church back to Guinea and Sierra Leone on a short-term mission. And finally, thanks to a travel voucher from our church for my 25th anniversary as pastor, Heather and I traveled to Prague and Paris.

There are no geopolitical boundaries with God. He lives in Tokyo, Hong Kong, Cebu City, Puerto Vallarta, Paris, Haarlem, Mannheim, Basel, Rome, Florence, Conakry, Lungi, Freetown, and Prague as well as Dodge City, Boise, Regina, Canby, and Pasadena, places I have lived in North America. Travel never fails to remind me that God is bigger than my country and my culture. God transcends all human borderlines and nationalities.

I am amazed by how old things are in Europe and especially in Prague. The Old Town Square (above picture), which dates back to the late 12th century, started life as the central marketplace for Prague. Over the next few centuries many buildings of Romanesque, Baroque and Gothic styles were erected around the market and still stand today. Construction on The Church of Our Lady of Tyn, easy to identify by its spires which shoot up into the sky above the Square, began in 1365. The Church of St. Nicholas occupies a piece of land on the edge of the Square that has held a church since the 12th century. The present church was completed in 1735. The Old Town Hall Tower, built in 1338, is one of the most striking buildings in Prague. We climbed the stairs on the inside of the tower to a lookout on top that gave us a breath-taking view of the city.

A few blocks from the Old Town Square is The Charles Bridge, a pedestrian only bridge commissioned by Charles IV in 1357. The Powder Gate, which formed one of thirteen entrances to Old Town, started to take shape when its foundation stone was laid in 1475. The streets and sidewalks in Prague are cobblestone. Who knows how long they have been there but when you walk them you sense that every stone cries out with some kind of history.

Prague felt quaint, old, charming, romantic and fairy tale-like. Compared to Paris, Prague is compact. You can easily walk from Wenceslas Square to the Old Town Square to the Jewish Quarter to the Prague Castle across the Vltava River and everywhere in between. Cobblestone streets and sidewalks, probably hundreds of years old, take you where you want to go. You pass through narrow, windy streets lined with shops, cafes, restaurants, and apartments. You encounter limited cars and traffic in the downtown core. From the Old Town Hall Tower your eyes are flooded with red tiled roofs in every direction you look spread out over Prague. The skyline is dotted with church spires. Tables and chairs from outdoor cafes and restaurants fill the sidewalks even on a chilly November evening (blankets are draped over chairs if you need one to wrap up in to stay warm). Prague has been called one of the most magical cities in the world and rightly so. It looks and feels medieval.

I felt a sense of spiritual darkness in Europe. First some statistics and then my comments. According to a 2001 Czech Republic census 59% of the people identify themselves as agnostic, atheist, or non-believer. The fastest growing group of people between 1991 and 2001 were those with no religion which increased by nearly 2 million people or 19.1%. Christianity, especially the Roman Catholic Church, showed negative growth in that same block of time and lost more than 1 million members. Only 19% of the Czech people believe there is a God which is the second lowest rate among the European Union countries. France fares a little better – only 31% of the population claim to be atheists. Of the 51% who describe themselves as Catholics only half of those claimed to believe in God.

As I walked the streets of Prague and Paris I asked myself what had happened to the souls of these people. They were spiritual beings just like me who were created in the image and likeness of God. By and large churches are no longer sacred spaces for worship but historical buildings, concert halls, and art galleries. I wondered if the people of Prague and Paris ever experienced spiritual longings, and if so, how did they identify them and what did they do with them. I wondered if they sometimes felt a need to pray out of gratitude or of a need for help. I questioned how they approached the birth of a new child, the miracle and mystery of new life entering the world. I pondered if they feared death and what they thought might lie on the other side.

One evening in Prague Heather and I walked into a Roman Catholic Church whose door we found unlocked which was rare. The church was cold and dark, a small church compared to others we had visited. The only lights shining lit up the altar area. Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness I noticed an elderly lady off to the left front of the church kneeling and praying – finally, a church where someone was engaged in prayer and worship even if it was only one person.

I love the coffee in European cafes. I am no coffee connoisseur. I have never worked as a barista, roasted coffee, or attended a coffee tasting event. But I love a good, strong latte. The coffee I drank in local cafes in Prague and Paris was the best I have ever tasted – rick, dark, strong but smooth going down. No after taste or acidy residue.

I found a Starbucks in Prague and showed up early one morning for coffee – 7am by Prague time – and ordered a latte. I felt like I was in Portland. Everything looked the same. The latte tasted the same as in the States as well, you know, the usual Starbucks overly roasted burnt taste. Starbucks may have popularized espresso and good coffee in the States but it doesn’t hold a candle to what I enjoyed in Europe.

I noticed something else about coffee in Europe – it is served in a cup and saucer or in a glass mug instead of in a paper cup to go. Coffee is meant to be sipped, enjoyed, lingered over, and shared with a close friend. No hurry, no rush to get in and out. Coffee is not just a drink but an experience and I liked that.

The majority of people in Europe seem to smoke. Lots of people in Europe smoke – men, women, young, old, sophisticated, and simple. Finding a non-smoking restaurant in Prague was a challenge. One night in a nice Czech restaurant we asked for non-smoking. The host led us to a fairly large room in the rear of the restaurant designated for non-smoking. Five minutes after we were seated a group of people took a table on the other side of the room and began to smoke. Soon after others in the room followed. Our non-smoking sanctuary was filled with smoke. I think all of Europe must be dying of lung cancer.

My wife knows how to read a map. I am pretty good at directions as long as I know which way is north, south, east, and west. But put me in a strange city, hand me a map I have never seen before, and tell me to find my way to such-and-such a place and I am instantly in trouble. It does me no good to try to bluff my way around the map or the city – I have tried and it does not work. Often the longer I stare down at the map the more confused I become. My wife is just the opposite. She loves maps. In fact, her eyes light up at the sight of a map.

One night in Paris she used three maps to help us find our way to the neighborhood apartment where Ernest Hemingway first lived in 1921. I was amazed, I still am, and I still might be looking for Hemingway’s apartment if not for the map expertise of Heather.

Flying economy means feeling squished for a long time. 10 hours from Portland to Amsterdam. 8 hours from Paris to New York City. 5 1/2 hours from New York City to Portland (add another 90 minutes which is what happened to us in New York City when we sat in the plane for this long before it finally took off). I fought envy on every flight when I walked through the first-class section – the wide, comfortable, leather-bound seats, the large arm rests with beverage holders, the comfy head rests, and the ample leg room (did I mention the leg room?!).

On our flight from Paris to New York City I sat between Heather and a man from Toronto who was flying home after visiting his family in Egypt. I wouldn’t say he was over-weight but he was certainly stocky and filled his seat. He slept most of the flight (this filled me with envy also). Sometimes in his sleep he would shift over toward me, take the whole arm rest and crowd my side of the seat. My already space living quarters shrunk depending upon how he moved and shifted in his sleep.

Flight space did not improve on the last leg home from New York City to Portland. This time my seat mates were Heather and a young man who looked big enough to be a college football player, probably a fullback or a linebacker. He didn’t fall asleep or shift over to my side but he filled up every square inch of his seat and in doing so made my space seem smaller, especially as the flight wore on.

The flights home from Europe are the closest I have ever been to feeling claustrophobic. I don’t want to see the inside of a plane for a long time. I think there should be law against making people sit in the economy section during international flights!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

The power of a sentence

As I look back over they years there are a number of sentences that have had a huge influence upon my life. No doubt, books have made a significant impact upon me. But what made the books influential were the sentence or two within its covers that tattooed themselves upon my mind or heart or soul.

Here is a sampling of sentences from my favorite books and writers used by the Spirit of God to bring about transformation in my life. Although I could write pages about each sentence I will let them stand on their own for your reading and pondering.

"But there is such a thing as rising early for the love of God." (Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, p. 44)

"Beyond all and in all is God." (Pursuing the Monk's Life by Thomas Merton, July 17, 1956)

"Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace." (Now and Then by Frederick Buechner, p. 87)

"For it is not mere words that nourish the soul, but God Himself, and unless and until the hearers find God in personal experience they are not the better for having heard the truth. The Bible is not an end in itself, but a means to bring men to an intimate and satisfying knowledge of God, that they may enter into Him, that they may delight in His Presence, may taste and know the inner sweetness of the very God Himself in the core and center of their hearts." (The Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer, p. 9-10)

"for Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men's faces."
(Poems and Prose by Gerard Manley Hopkins, p. 51)

"God and passion. That is why I was a pastor, that is why I had come to this place: to live in the presence of God, to live with passion - and to gather others into the presence of God, introducing them into the possibilities of a passionate life." (Under the Unpredictable Plant by Eugene H. Peterson, p. 45)

"The whole purpose for which we exist is to be thus taken into the life of God." (Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis, p. 161)

"We are like sponges trying to mop up the ocean. We can never know God exhaustively. We can never picture God or imagine him. Either we make him too small, and we strain at that, or we make him too big, and he strains us. We have not got to invent God, nor to hold him. He holds us. I want you to hold very clearly the otherness of God, and the littleness of men. If you don't get that you can't have adoration, and you cannot have religion without adoration. I know more and more how small I am, how great God is." (Letters to a Niece by Baron Fredrich von Hugel, p. 24)

That's a start. I could go on and on. Enjoy!









Wednesday, October 27, 2010

25 Years

This past Sunday marked my twenty-fifth anniversary at Canby Alliance Church. I preached my first sermon on the last Sunday of July, 1985. I was twenty-nine years old at the time, married for nearly seven years, and newly graduated from Fuller Theological Seminary with a Master of Divinity degree. I learned first-hand from two of the elders soon after my arrival that they didn't vote for my coming because they thought I was too young and couldn't do the job. I came without knowing what I was going to be paid. I still remember the jest of my first sermon - quit talking behind each other's backs; if you have something to say to me, say it to my face; it's time to forgive one another and heal from the past.

Why those words? The previous two pastors had been asked to leave. Though the first one had been dismissed six years earlier there was still some residual pain lingering in some. The second dismissal was still fresh in everyone's mind and heart. There were the usual differences of opinion about his leaving - some thought it was right and others felt it was wrong or hadn't been handled right. The church body was divided. Mistrust had crept in. Some people had left the church and others were sitting on the fence. Many people were hurting. In retrospect, I had no idea what I was getting into. But God was more than gracious to this young pastor and the congregation he had been called to lead.

On that warm Sunday in July twenty-five years ago I never dreamed that I would still be here in 2010. That seemed like an eternity away back then. My vision for the church in those first months was pretty simple - the church needs to heal, people need to learn to trust each other again, we need to find our unity in Christ, and we can get through this if we choose, under God, to get through this together.

One of my goals for my first year of ministry was to visit every church family in their home. Part of my reason for visitation was to ask everyone how they were dealing with the past and how I could help them move on. Those visits taught me a lot about the church and the hurts, fears, and hopes that people carried. Time after time I realized after leaving a home that these people were good people, had tons of potential, and just needed someone to love and lead them.

One thing I clearly see now as I look back over the past twenty-five years is this - I believe God placed a love in my heart for these people. I didn't have to make it happen. I didn't have to pray for it. I didn't have to work at it. No matter how good or hard the times were, the love I felt in my heart for the church never waned. Even in my darkest moment ten years ago when I was swallowed by a season of depression, once I swept away the clouds I came face-to-face with this love. I can't separate this sense of love from my calling to Canby Alliance Church. The two go hand-in-hand together.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Monk for a Day

I woke up earlier than usual. I was excited because I had scheduled a day room - St. Michael's - at Our Lady of Guadalupe Trappist Abbey near Lafayette, about a 45 minute drive from Canby. The Abbey is one of my favorite places. For a couple of weeks my soul had been telling me I needed rest, some monastic solitude and silence. I pulled into the Dutch Brother's in Newberg before 6am and ordered a latte. I switched on the light in my day room twenty minutes later and turned up the heat. I laid out my Bible, journal, pens, and books on the desk.

I headed for the microwave in the Guest House kitchen to warm up my coffee. Brother Martin was busy making morning coffee for the overnight guests. "Good morning, brother. Are you still over in, what is that, Canby?" "Yes" I told him. "I haven't seen you for a while" he uttered. I replied, "Yea, it's been a long time since I've been here. You've got a good memory." Brother Martin smiled at me and pointed at his head, "Sometimes it works." He went about his business and I went about mine.

I walked outside to look up at the night sky. The morning sun was rising sooner than I expected. The sky was no longer black but a dark blue. A few stars were still shining, twinkling in the cool morning air. I stood still, closed my eyes, and tried to take in the silence. Renewal was already starting.

I opened my journal and started writing. My mind felt like it was in slow gear. Next I began my Bible reading out of Eugene Peterson's The Message Psalm 90-94 and then Luke 19-24. Next I grabbed my ESV Study Bible that I lugged along (it must weigh 25 lbs!) and turned to my sermon passage for Sunday - John 2:1-11, Jesus turning the water into wine. I carefully read the introduction to John's gospel and then the study notes for the passage. One thing led to another. Before long I was jumping all over the Old Testament and the New Testament tracing what the Bible said about the use of wine. Drunkenness is out but "joy" is in - joy is sometimes linked to wine in the Scriptures. I took some careful notes about the 7 signs in John's gospel of which Jesus turning the water into wine is the first.

Next I opened my journal and wrote out my prayers for the day. First, family concerns and then CAC people matters I feel called to pray for. Lately about the only way I can privately pray is by writing out my prayers, a number of journals of them since early this year. I seldom pace up and down in a room and pray out loud like I did for years. It doesn't work anymore so I only occasionally try it.

Next I went outside and walked down the Abbey road to the main highway. I wanted to feel the warm sunshine against my face. I wanted to hear singing birds. As I walked I looked down and saw a black, rust colored furry caterpillar walking across the road in front of me. I put my Nike running shoe in its path to see what it would do. The caterpillar crawled over the toe of my shoe and kept going.

Next I came back to the room and laid down and took a twenty minute nap that felt more like a couple of hours. It was just what I needed.

Next I made a quick diversionary trip to the Abbey bookstore, looked over both old and new titles, and got away without buying anything, somewhat of a miracle.!

Next I grabbed my copy of Godric by Frederick Buechner and my journal and found a quiet corner of the Abbey church to read and pray. I silently prayed through the prayer I wrote earlier that morning. I paused over names and situations that weighed upon my heart. I sought to give those prayers an extra push into heaven. Then I read a couple of chapters in my favorite Buechner novel. This is my third or fourth time to read Godric and each time seems more amazing than the time before.

Next I set off on my favorite hike on the Abbey grounds. By now it was noon. The warm sun was high over head and would push the mercury to 80 degrees. I looked up at a cloudless blue sky. I slowly made my way to the monk's picnic area located in the woods behind the monastery. I walked through the baseball field up into the tall, swaying fir trees that guarded the monk's volleyball and basketball courts, fire pit, and covered eating shelter. Think really simple and really primitive. Grass, dirt, ground cover for the courts. The eating shelter looks like its been there for fifty years, simply made out of leftover wood and materials. I have offered up many prayers here over the years as I've paced back and forth under the majestic fir trees that rise up into the sky to form an outdoor sanctuary for meeting God. I found a sunny spot, looked up into the sun, and closed my eyes - flies buzzing, birds singing, the faint sound of a distant combine.

I took a different trail back to the monastery, one that led me down a windy path next to a dried up creek bed. I heard branches snapping. I stopped and looked around. There across the path from me and standing about twenty feet up the hill was a deer, a doe, eating leaves off a bush of some kind. I expected her to bolt but she didn't. I talked to her. She looked straight at me. We stared each other down. And then she put her head down and continued to eat. She must have surmised that I wasn't a threat to her safety or lunch.

Next I went back to my room and grabbed my journal, Godric, and a new book, Regi Campbell's Mentor Like Jesus. I found a shady spot next to the big pond behind the Guest House. I opened
up Campbell and began to read. Every so often I heard water splashing so I looked down at the water's edge and spotted a large bullfrog. He was sitting in the water with the top of his head above the surface next to a tree stump. Dragon flies were flying around the stump. Occasionally one would light upon the stump or swoop down and touch the water. The bullfrog crouched still and when the time was right he lunged at the dragon fly and snapped it up. Once I happened to glance down at the right time and saw the bullfrog leap out of the water, catch a dragon fly in its mouth, and land at least twelve inches from where he started. Another time the bullfrog leaped completely over one branch of the tree stump. This was the first time I had ever been entertained by a bullfrog and dragon flies. The show was fascinating to watch and got in the way of my reading.

Next I went back up to my room, packed up, and headed out the door for home. The day was just what I needed. The weather could not have been nicer. The entertainment (caterpillar, deer, bullfrog, and dragon files) was awesome. And I caught up with my soul in a much-needed manner over the course of the 7 1/2 hours I spent at the Abbey. Thanks be to God!


Sunday, October 3, 2010

Europe


Heather and I are going to Europe in November thanks to the travel voucher the church gave us this summer in recognition of my 25th anniversary at Canby Alliance Church. We are set to leave on November 4th to visit Prague and Paris.

Our first stop is going to be Prague in the Czech Republic. We were first attracted to Prague because of its reasonable prices (Europe can be very expensive). Over the past two months we have discovered that a number of people we know have visited Prague and highly recommend it. Prague escaped heavy bombing during World War II. Therefore its city center has the charming feel of an old world city. We are going to stay in a family-run hotel just a couple of blocks from the Old Town Square. Our plan is to put our feet to work and walk to as many places as we can on Prague's cobblestone streets. Most of the tourist sights can be found in a two square mile area.

After six days in Prague we are going to fly to Paris for four days. We will be staying in a fairly small hotel in the St. Germain des Pres section of the Latin Quarter. I stayed here four years ago on the way back from Africa. The hotel is located close to a number of famous cafes including one Ernest Hemingway frequented and helped put on the map in the 1920s. The oldest church in Paris, L'Lglise Saint-Germain des Pres, first completed in 558 and enlarged in 1163, is just around the corner. What I remember most about this area are the open markets, bakeries, cafes, and restaurants within just a block or two of the hotel.

We have limited ourselves to only visit two cities. The main reason for the trip is time together and time to rest. While we plan to do some sight-seeing we are going to carve out large chunks of time for reading, relaxation, and simply being together enjoying a nice meal, a good cup of European coffee, or a long walk exploring part of Prague or Paris.

We are overwhelmed with gratitude for the church's generosity and love. And we can hardly wait for November 4th to roll around!




Monday, September 20, 2010

Mt. Borah

On Tuesday, September 7th at 12:15pm we stepped foot on the summit of Mt. Borah, the tallest mountain in Idaho and Oregon with an elevation of 12,668 ft. The ascent took us 6 hours. I climbed the mountain with my nephew Josh (Menlo Park, CA.), my cousin Rick (Post Falls, ID.), my brother Brent (Emmett, ID.), and Brian a good friend from our church in Canby. We climbed the standard route which involves ascending 5,262 vertical feet from the trail head to the summit in just over 3.5 miles.

We arrived at the trail head Monday afternoon and set up our camp. The trail head sits at an elevation of 7200 ft . For comparison-sake, Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood sits at an elevation of 5960 ft. while Silcox Hut is located at 6950 ft. We watched a few climbers return from the mountain after a long day of climbing. All of them looked tired, sore, and thirsty. I remember one individual who looked to be in his late 50s or early 60s. He looked spent. The back of his pants were ripped where he must have fallen or snagged his pants on something. He repeated a couple of times, "Don't underestimate the final 800 ft. to the summit."

We ate dinner, built a fire, stood around the fire and talked, and then went to bed by 9pm. The mountain night was cold. The temperature slipped down below freezing. It took me a few hours to fall asleep. I tossed and turned in my sleeping bag. I could not shut off my mind. I was excited about the climb. I nursed a few fears as well (I don't do cold very well and I am afraid of heights!).

Finally I drifted off to sleep and was awakened by Rick's voice telling us it was 5:10am and time to get going. We had planned to wake up at 4am but Brian's phone was still on Pacific Standard Time so we got a late start - get dressed, bathroom, hot coffee, peanut butter bagel, get out gloves, hat, trekking poles, and make one last rifling through my backpack to make sure I had everything. We hit the trail at 6:15am, our headlamps lighting the trail before us.

Starting to climb felt good. It took off the cold except for my fingertips which started to numb up. Brian loaned me a pair of leather gloves that I put on over my gloves and within minutes my fingertips warmed up.

Brian led the way up the trail and Josh took up the rear. Brent, Rick & I traded off the middle spots as we climbed. Periodically we stopped to drink water, eat a snack, use the bathroom, adjust our packs or take off a layer or two of clothing.

Eventually we came to the base of Chicken Out Ridge, aptly named, at 11,300 ft. The trail ended at its base. We stashed away our trekking poles and began scrambling up its rock face. The climb turned steeper than what we'd experienced so far. The rock was excellent for climbing - hard, solid, full of foot and finger grips. The view was awesome and the wind ripped at our coats. This part of the climb was not for the timid. One slip and there was nothing to catch you for a couple thousand feet. My fear of heights was tested with almost every step I took. Even though I tried to enjoy the amazing view all around me I concentrated on keeping my head zeroed in on the next 5-10 feet I had to climb.

Instead of going up and directly over COR Brian led us on a path that veered off to the left side of the top. The fall-off on our left side was steep and several thousand feet down. We came to a 15-20 ft. snow field we had to cross. Thankfully the trail across it provided us with fairly good footing - dirt and gravel thrown over ice. There were several holes in the wall of snow and ice at eye level that you could use as finger grips to help navigate your way across the snow. I leaned into the snow and gingerly made my way across. I tried hard not to think about what would happen if I slipped and fell. I felt a huge sense of relief when all 5 of us were standing on the other side of the snow field.

Now we enjoyed a good but narrow trail (again a fairly steep drop off to our left) that took us across mostly level terrain until we reached Knife Edge just below the summit. The snow on the ledge was almost gone which meant we could walk across Knife Edge on dry ground. The summit was all that was left - 800 ft above us. The trail was windy and very steep. We decided to make our own way up to the summit instead of following the trail - a climber who was coming down from the summit just as we were going up told us the trail had some loose rock toward the top. First Brian, then Rick, then me, followed by Brent and Josh close behind us.

It must have taken us 30-45 minutes to climb that last 800 ft. Finally I looked up and saw the American flag flapping in the wind on the summit. Brian and Rick stopped short of the summit and let me be the first one to step foot on the top since the climb had been my idea. Before long all 5 of us were on the summit congratulating one another, slapping each other's backs, and posing for pictures. 2 climbers followed us up the summit so they took our pictures on top and we took theirs.

I can't adequately explain what I felt inside - joy, thanksgiving, relief, and a sense of accomplishment. To bask in the beauty of a 360 degree view of the Idaho wilderness was something I will never forget. We were literally on top of Idaho and Oregon. I felt a special bond to Brent, Rick, Josh, and Brian that could only come from climbing together.

The descent off the summit went well. Climbing down is always more dangerous than climbing up. You have the pull of gravity to do battle with in a manner that you don't on your ascent. Plus you are tired and weary from all the energy - physical, emotional, and mental - exerted on the climb up. Plus your knees, ankles, and feet take more of a pounding coming down.

I began to dehydrate on our descent. Brian was alert enough to pick up on how I looked and the fact that I wasn't stopping to pee like everyone else! He gave me some electrolyte powder for the last remaining bit of my water. I drank it and felt better almost immediately. Before we made it back to the trial head Brian gave me his last bottle of water as well as the last of the water he had left in his bladder. I don't know what I would have done without his help!

The climb up and down took us a little more than 12 hours. Dinner was buffalo back strap that Brent had marinated and then
barbecued for us. It was delicious, melted in our mouths, and was the perfect post-climb celebratory meal! All of us went to bed soon after dark and slept like logs - 10 1/2 hours for me which is really rare. We were exhausted, happy, thankful, relieved, and praising God for a safe climb!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Camping and Climbing

I can hardly wait. Tomorrow I jump on a Southwest Airlines flight and fly to Boise. My parents will pick me up at the airport. I will spend a day with them in Boise on Thursday. Friday morning my dad and I will load up his truck and we'll head to our favorite camping spot on the Crooked River about 80 miles northeast of Boise. We literally camp at the end of the road. No amenities. No fellow campers. No nothing except us, the Crooked River, the friendly deer who wander through our camp spot, and our good friend the camp fire. My two brothers (Ted and Brent) will join us before the sun goes down. We talk, laugh, tell stories, look at the stars, eat lots of good food, go hiking or ride the 4 wheelers, take a trip up to the Jackson Peak Lookout, sleep like a log, stare into the campfire, and enjoy a few days away from cell phones, email, texting, traffic, and civilization in general. What makes this special is my dad is 89 years old (young) and this is the highlight of his year! We are going to keep doing this for as long as we can.

We will drive out Sunday afternoon. Once home we'll shower, unpack, and then Brent and I will repack. Monday morning we leave for Mt. Borah in the Lost River Range, a 4 1/2 hour drive from Boise. Five of us will attempt to summit the mountain on Tuesday morning - me, Brent, my cousin Rick from Post Falls, Idaho, my nephew Josh from the Bay area, and my friend Brian Keil from Canby. We plan to hit the trail at 4am and hope to summit between 10am-11am.

Mt. Borah stands at 12, 662 feet. We are looking at a 5262 feet vertical climb in just over 3.5 miles. The exciting section of the climb will be Chicken Out Ridge, aptly named, at 11,000 feet, a class 3 scramble up and over a rock ridge that falls steeply off on each side. For someone who is not fond of heights, like me, Chicken Out Ridge is going to be a challenge.

I promise a report and pictures when I return!

Friday, August 27, 2010

J.C. Ryle

The last several years I have spent a lot of time thinking about growth and change. It seems to me that if what we believe is true about Jesus Christ living inside our lives by the person of his Spirit, there should follow signs or indications of his presence. After all, how could the God of the universe take up residence in my life and something not give or change?!

And yet. What do I see and experience? Am I being stretched by growth pains? Am I really all that different today from who I was two or ten or fifteen or twenty years ago? Has "Christ in you" (me) (Colossians 1:27) radically altered who I am, how I think, what I say, where I go, how I spend my time and money, or what I live for? And yet.

Transformation of our lives is to be the norm for Christ-followers - "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son" (Romans 8:29); "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (2 Corinthians 3:18); and "My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you" (Galatians 4:19). Conformed, transformed, formed all point to the same spiritual reality - there is to be less of Tim and more of Christ in my life as time goes on.

The painstakingly slow process of spiritual growth can be discouraging. Recently I was reminded of a theological truth that provided encouragement. I was reading J.C. Ryle's classic book on Holiness written in 1877. In a section of how justification and sanctification differ Ryle writes, "Justification is a finished and complete work, and a man is perfectly justified the moment he believes. Sanctification is an imperfect work, comparatively, and will never be perfected until we reach heaven. Justification admits of no growth or increase: a man is as much justified the hour he first comes to Christ by faith as he will be to all eternity. Sanctification is eminently a progressive work, and admits of continual growth and enlargement so long as a man lives." Ryle wants us to realize that justification is instant but sanctification is gradual.

Ryle again, "Let us not expect too much from our own hearts here below. At our best we shall find in ourselves daily cause for humiliation, and discover that we are needy debtors to mercy and grace every hour. The more light we have, the more we shall see our own imperfection. Sinners we were when we began, sinner we shall find ourselves as we go on; renewed, pardoned, justified - yet sinners to the very last. Our absolute perfection is yet to come, and the expectation of it is on reason why we should long for heaven."

Don't mistake Ryle as someone who is soft on sin. He takes sanctification just as seriously as he takes justification. He works hard not to confuse the two. And all through Holiness he persistently fixes our attention upon Jesus, "The Lord Jesus has undertaken everything that His people's souls require; not only to deliver them from the guilt of their sins by His atoning death, but from the dominion of their sins, by placing in their hearts the Holy Spirit; not only to justify them , but also to sanctify them."

I am thankful for these good words from J.C. Ryle!






Friday, July 30, 2010

25 Years - early memories

Being asked by a Board member during my interview what I thought about "picture shows" (movies)? The implication being I shouldn't think anything but bad about them and not encourage people from the church to attend movies.

Telling Heather that even though I had accepted the church's offer to become their Senior Pastor I had no idea what they were going to pay me. Salary never came up in any of our discussions and I didn't think it was right for me to bring it up.

Feeling really young since just about every adult in the church was older than me and wondering how I was going to lead and pastor people who had me beat in years, experience, and wisdom.

Being told in the first few weeks by two elders that even though they thought highly of me they did not vote for my coming because they thought I was too young and couldn't do the job.

Driving up to Willamette Falls Hospital on my first day on the job to visit an elderly man from the church, walking into his room, and being told by his wife who was standing over him that he had died just a few minutes earlier. I did my first funeral before I preached my first sermon.

Sitting at my desk in my office trying to figure out how to schedule my time, set my priorities, work by a list of goals, and find out from God what I was supposed to preach on as I got started.

Choosing the book, Well-Intentioned Dragons, to read with my elders in hopes of setting the expectations by which we would serve together (Amazon.com gives this description of the book -
"Every church has them - sincere, well-meaning Christians who leave ulcers, strained relationships, and hard feelings in their wake. They don't intend to be difficult; they don't consciously plot destruction or breed discontent among the members. But they often do undermine the ministry of the church and make pastors question their calling. Based on real-life stories of battle-scarred veterans, Marshall Shelley presents a clear picture of God's love for those on both sides of the problem. He describes tested strategies to communicate that love and turn dissidents into disciples."

Setting a first-year goal of visiting every family in their home for the purpose of interviewing them regarding their feelings about the church and assuring them of my love and hope for the future.

Encountering more hurt and wounded people than I expected to find, quickly realizing my limitations, and learning to pray out of desperation, fear, and longing.




Monday, July 5, 2010

Jonathan Edwards

Jonathan Edwards (October 5, 1703 - March 22, 1758) has been called America's greatest theologian and most influential thinker. During his life time he worked as a parish pastor, missionary, and college teacher. He published many books and works which have never gone out of print and are widely read today.

One of my goals this summer is to both read about Jonathan Edwards and read him. A couple of months ago I read Jonathan Edwards And The Ministry Of The Word: A Model of Faith and Thought by Douglas A. Sweeney who has published a number of works on Edwards and knows his subject well.

This morning I started reading Jonathan Edwards on Beauty edited by Owen Strachan and Douglas Sweeney from The Essential Edwards Collection published by Moody Publishers. The book has five chapters on the beauty of God, Creation, Christ, the Church, and the Trinitarian Afterlife.

Edwards identified seven attributes that demonstrate God's beauty - eternality and self-existence, greatness, loveliness, power, wisdom, holiness, and goodness.

I was struck by something Edwards wrote about God's goodness, "God delights in the welfare and prosperity of his creatures; he delights in the making of them exceeding happy and blessed, if they will but accept of the happiness which he offers." Edwards asserted of God's goodness, "this is goodness that never was, never will, never can be paralleled by any other beings." When kings give good things to their subjects, "they do but give that which the Almighty before gave to them."

According to Edwards God's greatest gift of goodness is seen in the giving and self-sacrifice of his Son for the sin of the world. "There never was such an instance of goodness, mercy, pity, and compassion since the world began; all the mercy and goodness amongst creatures fall infinitely short of this."

It is plain to see that I am going to feast on Edwards over the next several days. He is God-centered in a manner in which few of us are today.

Monday, June 21, 2010

The Pursuit of God

In 1948 A. W. Tozer wrote The Pursuit of God. I was given the book shortly after I became a Christ-follower in 1974. I read it soon after. And I have read it many, many times since. Next to the Bible, I have read The Pursuit of God more than any other book in my library. Right now I am on another Pursuit reading binge. I read the book in May and I continue to pick it up in June to re-read highlighted passages. Unlike any other book, Pursuit draws me in every time I pick it up. Though I am familiar with its content it always seems new when I go back to it.

One chapter that has grabbed my attention of late is "The Universal Presence." Here are a few favorite quotes:
"What now does the divine immanence mean in direct Christian experience? It means simply that God is here. Wherever we are, God is here. There is no place, there can be no place, where he is not. No one is in mere distance any further from or any nearer to God than any other person is. (p. 62)

"The Presence and the manifestation of the Presence are not the same. There can be one without the other. God is here when we are wholly unaware of His Presence. His manifest
only when and as we are aware of His Presence. (p. 64)

"The approach of God to the soul or of the soul to God is not to be thought of in spatial terms
at all. There is no idea of physical distance involved in the concept. It is not a matter of miles but of experience. (p. 65)

"I venture to suggest that the one vital quality which they (those in history who knew God
intimately) had in common was spiritual receptivity. Something in them was open to heaven, something urged them Godward. They had spiritual awareness and they went on to cultivate it until it became the biggest thing in their lives. They acquired the lifelong habit of spiritual response." (p. 67)

Lord Christ, I pray for spiritual receptivity. I want to be open to heaven. I desire to live with a Godward look. Increase my spiritual awareness. Show me how to cultivate this. Grant me the lifelong habit of spiritual response. In Jesus name, Amen.






Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Admiration of the Godhead

"Some of the most rapturous moments we know will be those we spend in reverent admiration of the Godhead. So let us begin with God. Back of all, above all, before all is God: first in sequential order, above in rank and station, exalted in dignity and honor. As the self-existent One He gave being to all things, and all things exist out of Him and for Him.
'Thou are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou has created all
things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.'

Every soul belongs to God and exists by His pleasure. God being Who and What He is, and we being who and what we are, the only thinkable relation between us is one of full lordship on His part and complete submission on ours. We owe Him every honor that it is in our power to give Him. Our everlasting grief lies in giving Him anything less."
(A. W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God, p. 101-02)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The words of others

Rather than write something myself I want to share some favorite words of others with you in this post. These are quotes I have come across in my reading over the past several weeks. I will let them stand on their own:

C. S. Lewis
“For my own part, I tend to find the doctrinal books often more helpful in devotion than the devotional books, and I rather suspect that the same experience may await others. I believe that many who find that ‘nothing happens’ when they sit down, or kneel down, to a book of devotion, would find that the heart sings unbidden while they are working their way through a tough bit of theology with a pipe in their teeth and a pencil in their hand.”

C. H. Spurgeon
The minister who does not earnestly pray over his work must surely be a vain and conceited man. He acts as if he thought himself sufficient of himself and therefore needed not to appeal to God.

E. H. Peterson
I realized that this was my place and work in the church, to be a witness to the truth that dazzles gradually. I would be a witness to the Holy Spirit's formation of congregation out of this mixed bag of humanity that is my congregation - broken, hobbled, crippled, sexually abused and spiritually abused, emotionally unstable, passive and passive-aggressive, neurotic men and women. Men at fifty who have failed a dozen times and know that they will never amount to anything. Women who have been ignored and scorned and abused in a marriage in which they have been faithful. People living with children and spouses deep in addiction. Also fresh converts excited to be in on this new life. Spirited young people, energetic and eager to be guided into a life of love, compassion, mission and evangelism. A few seasoned saints who know how to pray and listen and endure. And a considerable number of people who pretty much just show up. I wonder why they bother. There they are. The hot, the cold, the lukewarm, Christians, half-Christians, almost Christians. New-agers, angry ex-Catholics, sweet new converts. I didn't choose them. I don't get to choose them.

John Stott
When I enter the pulpit with the Bible in my hands and in my heart, my blood begins to flow and my eyes sparkle for the sheer glory of having God's Word to expound. We need to emphasize the glory, the privilege, of sharing God's truth with people.

Jonathan Edwards
Oftentimes in reading it (the Bible), every word seemed to touch my heart. I felt a harmony between something in my heart, and those sweet and powerful words. I seemed often to see so much light, exhibited by every sentence, and such a refreshing ravishing food communicated, that I could not get along in reading. Used oftentimes to dwell long on one sentence, to see the wonders contained in it; and yet almost every sentence seemed to be full of wonders.

Ernest Hemingway
You can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another (Jake Barnes to Robert Cohn in The Sun Also Rises).

George Herbert
He that will learn to pray, let him go to sea.

Frederick Buechner
For the first time in my life that year in New York I started going to church regularly. My reason for going was simply that on the same block when I lived there happened to be a church with a preacher I had heard of and that I had nothing all that much better to do with my lonely Sundays. And then there came one particular sermon with on particular phrase in it that does not even appear in a transcript of his words that somebody sent me more than twenty-five years later so I can only assume that he must have dreamed it up a the last minute and ad-libbed it - and on just such foolish, tenuous, holy threads as that, I suppose, hang the destinies of us all. Jesus Christ refused the crown that Satan offered him in the wilderness, Buttrick said, but he is king nonetheless because again and again he is crowned in the heart of the people who believe in him. And that inward coronation takes place, Buttrick said, 'among confession, and tears, and great laughter.' It was the phrase 'great laugher' that did it, did whatever it was that I believe must have been hiddenly in the doing all the years of my journey up till then. It was not so much that a door opened as that I suddenly found a door had been open all along which I had only just then stumbled upon.

Patti Griffin
When you're lost and you're found
And you're found and you're lost
And you're dancing with no one around
You're coming home to me, just remember
You're coming home to me.